Sunday, January 26, 2014

Strong-willed Blobbie?

On Friday we had a 13 week ultrasound.....the primary purpose of which was to get the nuchal fold measurement and then I could do blood work to help assess the baby for chromosomal abnormalities.  The ultrasound went as well as possible (with a very very small qualification).  The heartbeat, activity, development, measurements...all great great great.  But would you believe that little Blobbie (named from the blastocyst stage) REFUSED to get into the proper position to have his/her nuchal fold space measured.  The tech and I tried everything for about 45 mins....gentle jostling, peeing, jumping jacks, rolling over...NOPE.  We have a stubborn baby!  We like to describe the embryo as a "fighter" but Friday was just comical.  I truly hope that me and HB's hardheadedness are not cumulatively represented in this child....or else....we're in trouble!  HB and I can both be very stubborn--I pretend it's "determination".  The U/S was saved on DVD and was amazing.  There was tons of movement at the beginning (before they were trying to get the critical measurement).

SO...we are going back again on Monday to try again.  Blobbie gets one more chance to get this right.  They won't even do the blood work for the chromosomes without that measurement because its all an integrated risk assessment calculation.

They did a doppler in the morning (at my Pap smear appt) and it took the nurse a little while to find the heartbeat.  The nurse said she is also 12 wks pregnant and can't find her own baby's heartbeat!  As she was searching...I thought "maybe it's good I didn't get my friend's doppler yet...because I would have gone CRAZY if I couldn't find the heart beat."

I had one weird moment at the OB.  They had a free "Gerber baby kit" at the reception area for expectant Moms (has formula and breast feeding tools).  But it took a few moments to convince myself that I could take one....and that I SHOULD take one.  It was hard.  I've bought a few second hand maternity clothes...but this....this was FOR the baby.  But this is where I am....

HIGH FIVE for arriving at the second trimester!!!!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

I'm still here & first OB apt (kind of)

Dearest blog world,
I'm still here.  Today I am twelve weeks pregnant....gasp in disbelief!  That is mostly my own disbelief.  WOW!  Yesterday we had our first real OB appointment.  It was actually with a nurse only.  I had hoped beyond hope that we'd at least get to hear a Doppler...but no.  I asked out-right and was rejected.  AHHHH...it's been 3.5 weeks since our last ultrasound...do you know how long that is in infertile weeks??....like 100!!  After I explained that we were anxious after 2.5 years of infertility the nurse said she "understands".....she CLEARLY does NOT understand!

It was just an appointment to "welcome" us to the practice, give us an information packet, make me pee in a cup, and draw FIVE vials of blood.  Oh...and make more appointments.  For example...we have three more appointments in one week.  One with an OB...which you would think would relate to the baby(?)...but oh no...it's a "female check" (boobs and cervix).  We'll slowly meet most of the OBs at the practice since you never know who'll be on call to actually deliver your baby.  So we then...FINALLY..have.a nuchal translucency ultrasound...and then a third appointment to have the first trimester blood screen drawn (trisomy testing--no...they won't test for the sex yet...I asked).

I know...this is actually all "good"....we're just a normal boring OB couple.  No special treatment needed.  It's just an abrupt adjustment from being VIPs at our RE's office.  And the nurse...who was nice...could answer all of 2 of our 15 questions.  (deep breath)  We were warned...and the warnings were accurate.  But I truly WANT to stay a boring OB couple.  I don't want them to even know our names without looking at our chart.  The day the RE receptionist knew my name instantly was quite memorable for me.

In taking one day at a time...I'm really really trying to enjoy the pregnancy.  I'm trying to let the ice of fear and denial melt a little.  I think I'm going to start taking bump pictures (probably won't post).  I bought a pregnancy journal online (haven't started it yet).  And I even bought a few maternity clothes.  For the record...I hate clothes shopping (what's wrong with me?).  So the idea of buying a wardrobe to be warn for just half a year or so is mind-numbing.  SO...I decided I would buy everything at a local second hand store.  Basically I'll stop in about once a month and see if I can find anything useful.  The first haul yielded two pairs of pants, a sweater, and one t-shirt for $15!  Even though the ice is melting...I would go bananas if someone bought us a baby gift or something for the nursery right now.  And by nursery...I mean our office that looks like an episode of Hoarders.  I like to think I'm taking baby steps towards...our baby.

And of course our parents are chomping at the bit to climb to the highest mountain top to announce this wonderful news.  We are keeping all of that in check until AT least our next ultrasound and probably until we get the chromosome screening back.

But today...I am grateful to be 12 weeks pregnant.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happily Gluten Free and Updates

Greetings Fellow Bloggers and Readers,
I haven't posted in awhile...mostly because it's a bit of an odd place to be pregnant after infertility.  It's almost like I'm not part of the club that I've been part of for so long...but I'm where we've all be trying to get.  It's confusing...and it's really important to me to be as respectful to others as possible...but also still be genuine to myself.

We are still taking our pregnancy one day at a time.  Today we're 9wks and 5 days!!  We had a third reassuring ultrasound on Christmas eve.  We hugged everyone at our RE's office as we have officially graduated to our OB/GYN (which means an appt in 3 weeks...what happened to my weekly ultrasounds?).  I also have mixed feelings about this.  Dr. J said that after a year of infertility treatments that we were basically VIPs of the office...and that is exactly how we felt and were treated.  I'm a bit sad to leave our team behind but I know they're cheering us on to where we need to be.  As of right now we really do just want to be normal/boring pregnant couple and enjoy each day as it happens.  But it will still be weird to not be able to email Dr. J or call the office at anytime and get a prompt response.  We're done with the estrogen...done with the baby aspirin and just finished the progesterone injections (this freaks me out a bit...not because I like all of those drugs but just because it's what I'm used to doing). CHANGE = AHHHH!

My delay in writing has also been because there has just been SO MUCH going on with the holidays.  I felt like I just barely had time to back up Thanksgiving before I was dragging out Christmas.  I saw several posts on choosing to go sans Christmas tree (I get it).  We had an odd circumstance in which we really needed to cut down a tree/bush in our back yard.  Being a little bit of a hippie I felt guilty about downing the tree and basically offset some of my guilt by taking one of the limbs and making it our Christmas tree.  Seriously.  It is so hilarious...a true Charlie Brown tree.  I say "is" because it's still up.  Between visiting my mother-in-law, friends visiting us, and my parents next weekend....Charlie Brown Limb might still be up and decorated for MLK day.

We announced the news to our parents only via frames that say "Sneak Peek".  We got them at Kohl's.  Our mothers cried.  We made sure that EVERYONE understands that this is still very private news!

I've started drinking a daily nutrition shake to make sure that I'm getting appropriate nutrients.  I feel that I am a healthy eater but since going gluten free (in addition to being a vegetarian) it has taken a little time to figure out a good base of foods.  At this point it's possible that I could start eating gluten free.  I don't  think that I have a genuine gluten allergy.  BUT...the first month I go gluten free I've also gotten pregnant...so I am the happiest gluten free vegetarian on earth right now!  Yes...it's probably because of the viagra supplemented lining that I grew...but I would NEVER take that risk.

I eat a lot of boiled eggs, rice dishes, salad, vegetables (of course), tofu stirfrys.  Amy's frozen meals are yummy.  I do like gluten free pasta.  I've found two kinds of fake meat that are also gluten free (thank you Whole Foods).  Bobbilicous is the name of an amazing gluten free cookie that is literally $3/each but somehow worth it.

I keep hoping to wake up one day and be terribly nauseous (yep...I know it's crazy).  I just would be happy to have any more pregnancy symptoms to reassure me.  Besides the minor boob soreness, pelvic fullness, and tiredness.  I've had a few weepy moments.  For some reason (because some of the incidents are ridiculous) these have made me laugh/cry and think it's all because of this website:  http://www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com

Warning!  It has baby/toddler pictures on the website.  I have found this site about a year ago...and I just find it hilarious!  It's a dad who has documented severral years of his son having temper tantrums and why he's crying.  So here it is....my own weepy edition of "reasons I've been crying" (some of which would have made me cry without hormones...I think).

1)  NPR article talking about how rescue workers were going to stay with the beached family of whales in Florida
2)  Seeing part of the episode of Good Morning America where they said good-bye to Sam Champion (men were crying...but I didn't even know who that guy was before seeing the segment)
3)  Seeing an amputee veteran finishing the tough mutter on TV
4)  Flipping through channels and seeing a birth on 16 and Pregnant
5)  Several of the stories on Pit Bulls and Parolees (the first time I even saw the show)
6)  DIY Extreme episode where they saved a single father's home for him and his 5 children
7) Photo documentary of a man's twin brother who has Cerebral Palsy
8)  Reading a story where an 8 year old had an endoscopy and the surgical team put a mask and IV bandage on his stuffed dog

Maybe my new year's resolution should be to stop flipping through channels and readying trashy articles on the internet? ....NAH!