Monday, September 23, 2013

Femara & Flu Vaccine Fails

Greetings everyone.  I hope everyone is doing as well as possible.  Update here from infertile land is I've gotten my third BFN in a row with Femara and timed intercourse.  No real surprise.  It was a long shot.  A pity gift from my RE knowing that we wouldn't be able to schedule any more appointments until November due to new job schedule and living 1.5 hours away from my husband.  I can't say I ever got my hopes up about this working....and didn't.

Soooo now I'm taking a "break" month to gear up for our FET#3 in November....yep....number THREE!  The "clean out the freezer cycle" as we've deemed it.  We're clearing out the last of our frozen embryos.  Yes...we were lucky to have frozen embryos...but when you go through all of these FET cycles and still end up with BFNs it really tears at the heart strings.  So November we'll transfer embryos 6,7, and 8.  Yep...THREE.  Our super conservative RE has already green lighted THREE embryos.  Why?  Because in conversation with our RE....she also has little hope of success.  Basically these are the last embryos from the egg carton from our IVF....and our RE basically feels like all of those eggs were a little "undercooked" when harvested.  So....we really are clearing out the freezer.  After results from that cycle we're going to need to make some tough decisions.  IVF again or move to adoption.

In other ways in which being infertile has slapped me in the face this week.  At my work place there is a mandatory flu vaccination policy.  As I'm filling out the form check out #7 at the top and #9 at the bottom.  *SIGH*

"9.  Are you pregnant or is there a chance you could become pregnant during the next month?"  And my only two options are "yes" and "no".  HOLY HELL!  I could write a ten page paper in response to that question.  Seriously?  Sure...there's a chance...there's been a CHANCE the past 27 months...and here we are.  AHHH!

I also had  a chat with my younger brother last night.  His wife is currently 7 months pregnant.  We had not yet told them about our infertility.  It was just too hard after they announced the pregnancy.  I didn't want to crush the happy moment for my family.  But the conversation steered to kids.  "ME:  We went to the air show with a friend and her two sons.  BRO:  Oh do a lot of your friends have kids.  ME:  Yeah it's just that time in life.  BRO:  What are you and HBs plans for kids?"  So I told him.  He was glad to know because he said that he'd know something was "up" since the moment he announced their pregnancy during Easter.  He had also noticed how our Mom kept starring at me at various points during the pregnancy announcement.  Like when Bro and SIL said they hadn't told her brother yet because they were also trying and were not yet successful.

So I really only have one aunt and uncle that I'm close to that we haven't told yet.  If they bring it up I will share with them.  But it's the worst topic ever to try to "transition to naturally".  "How's work going?  Shitty because I'm on injectables and find it hard to concentrate."  AWKWARD.